Mama and Dressing Up as a Clown
“There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.”
I have heard it said that a sure sign you are growing up is that you actually want to be more like your mom instead of NOT wanting to be more like your mom. This may or may not be true but, if so, then I think I’m finally growing up.
As a teenager I realized that, by nature, for good and for bad, I was more like my dad but as I’ve moved into solid middle-age I am so thankful to see more of my mom’s traits taking hold and I pray for more.
One of the most valuable characteristics that my mom has passed on to me is her ability to laugh at herself and not take life too seriously. My entire life I have seen her, with quick wit and self-deprecating humour, throw her head back with laughter at foibles and mishaps. Until I became a young adult I did not appreciate what a gift this is.
So with such a mother, it was not a huge surprise when she responded with a hearty, “Of course!” when, 17 years ago, my oldest child asked her to dress up as a clown for her third birthday. A clown. At 60. In front of loads of guests; both children and adults. You can imagine my daughter’s squeal of delight when Nana arrived in a borrowed clown costume, crazy hair, and a full helium balloon bouquet. Let me clarify; she was not a scary “It” clown. She was adorable with apple red cheeks, freckles, and Converse high-tops. Nana Clown was definitely the highlight of the party.
There have been several occasions when I have observed someone in an embarrassing situation only to look down in shame and clearly give themselves a mental whipping. “Oh no!” I said, once, to a woman I loved dearly when she had made a blunder in front of a small group of people. “That wasn’t a big deal! Nobody cared about that!” To be honest, I thought she had, inadvertently, provided brilliant comic relief. But, sadly, she just clenched her jaw and shook her head in a self-punishing manner.
Growing up with a mom whose chief motto was, “You wouldn’t worry what people think of you, if you realized how seldom they did!” provided a great amount of liberty and security. My life has been fraught with some spectacularly humiliating moments. Feet in the mouth, clutzy awkwardness, very poor comic timing. I have done it all. But that is all they were; moments. Not life ending or character defining cruelty. Just moments that also became funny stories.
In the spirit of remembering the title of my blog, I think it’s important to comment on the sacred as well as the absurd and the fact that they are not mutually exclusive. My mom loves Jesus and has studied, shared, and lived her faith imperfectly (like the rest of us) but passionately. Her kids know it and her grandkids know it. They know that she will get their jokes, laugh at their stories but also challenge their faith. She will talk of God and His goodness naturally and freely. And if her grandkids ask her to do outlandish things like dress up as a clown or, more recently, attend a pop concert with them she will say, “Of course!”
I’m not there yet; I haven’t arrived. If someone were to ask me to dress up as a clown I would definitely still be too self-conscious to say yes but I’m holding out hope that my mom’s example of getting over oneself will be one of her legacies.
