Ireland, the Green Sweater, and Living Abundantly
“It is not from ourselves that we learn to be better than we are.”
Two years ago my husband and I took our kids on a dream trip to Ireland. After years of camping and scrimping and saving, we did it! Two solid weeks exploring the Emerald Isle including the Aran Islands; little islands off the west coast of Ireland where life is very quaint and simple. Not even cars! If you want to have a horse and buggy tour you can. We chose to rent bikes and scoot about on a sunny June day, which was about too much charming for me to handle. More on that later.
The trip was about as good as it gets when traveling with a group of six. We split our time between a small village near Galway and a port town in Northern Ireland. While there, I swooned over many things; the views of the Cliffs of Moher, the streets of Galway, and never-ending fields of green mattered with sheep and ancient ruins. Another thing I drooled over was the handmade Aran Island sweaters. I tried them on and lovingly stroked them. I refolded them and put them back only to repeat the process. But, alas, after breaking the bank on the once-in-a-lifetime trip, I felt I couldn’t justify the price tag.
A few months after the trip I saw a friend of mine. Elaine has a very sweet spirit, possibly part elf, and has the most incredible mane of curly red hair. She also happened to own a long green Aran Islands sweater. I had admired/coveted this sweater for quite some time.
We were catching up on a church pew this particular day. She whispered, “Look. I have something for you and I just want you to take it!” She slid a lumpy bag onto my lap and I saw a flash of green wool. The sweater. I was stunned and quickly began protesting. But in her soft, yet firm, way she was ready for me. “No. I really want you to have it. I’m guessing that when you were in Ireland you didn’t want to spend money on a sweater and I think God wants you to have it. So do I. You’re supposed to have it.”
I was overwhelmed and humbled. This sweater was not a cast-off. It was given out of love and from someone who understood abundance in her own life. It was, I realize now, two years later, a big part of what God was doing in my life by taking me to Ireland in the first place; to better understand that His love for me is lavish, limitless, unconditional, unearned, and abundant.
Ireland had been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. My maiden name is Corrigan and my dad’s ancestors, three or four generations back, came to Canada from Ireland. I also have ancestors from England, Scotland, and Ukraine but Ireland, and the Irish, fascinated me the most. I still don’t know exactly why. The landscape, the history, the culture, all of it. And I think, in some subconscious way, I had passed this love onto my kids because when we polled each of them privately about where they would want to go, Ireland was at the top of all their lists. My husband has traveled extensively but had, regretfully, never made it to Ireland so that was it. The planning began.
We had poured over websites deciding where to go and read up on those magical-looking places. I was, obviously, incredibly excited and assumed that I was also prepared. But I could not have anticipated the level of emotions I would experience that first week. I don’t think we were there for more than 24 hours before it set in. Guilt.
Everything was more beautiful than I could have imagined. The roads were more terrifying than anyone could describe. But also very cool. And the people! When we talked to the odd stranger they planted their feet firmly, met your gaze, and let you know with their body language that this conversation was of utmost importance and they weren't going anywhere.
So what the heck was going on with this overwhelming guilt? I prayed about it and struggled with it and talked to my husband about it. Partway through that first week I went for a walk by myself along the River Inagh in the perfect little town of Ennistymon.
The path starts with a breathtaking view of the rapids known as the Cascades. It follows along until the river gets lazy. Arching trees, tall grasses, wildflowers. I know. How cruel of me. As I walked, I thought and I prayed and realized that I felt so unworthy of such a wonderful gift. I felt like I had tricked somebody or done something illegal. I kept walking. And thinking. And praying.
As I was making my way back I stopped to enjoy the Cascades from a different angle. I breathed, realizing that this is God’s love for me. In Christ He has bestowed and showered His love upon me, unworthy as I am. And there are times when He has just flat out chosen to delight me with good things. Abundance.
I’ve been given more than I could have imagined before I even set a toe on Irish soil. But because I wasn’t seeing it, acknowledging it, I was a bit stingy with others and, somewhere deep down, believed God was stingy with me. When you believe that you are somehow poorer than others, you tend not to be generous. It was a wonderful place to be as I realized that I could just soak in God’s goodness.
As the trip progressed, I was able to fully enjoy the moments. I mean, for the most part. No trip goes off without a hitch and we learned the hard way that Mondays are not a good day to tour Belfast and if an Airbnb advertises a pull-out bed, it is going to mean a wretched sleep.
But the true gift, from my memories of Ireland as well as every time I put on the Green Sweater, has been the reminder that I am seen and known and loved by the living God. He is generous, not just when He provides material things but also when He works in our heart. When He convicts and frees us from sin; bitterness, resentment, anger, fear. The internal, unseen work that He is doing is infinitely more precious than anything we can see or hold.
When I read, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen,” (Ephesians 3:20-21) I am seeing that it is a promise of the beautiful work he is doing and will do in our character. Incredibly, these verses come on the heels of Paul praying that the Ephesians will be strengthened to understand God’s love for them!
Finally, this is where I find hope. As mentioned earlier, since I have not often acknowledged God’s abundance toward me, I have been stingy with others. Whether it’s giving away my time, energy, money, or forgiveness, I’ve been a bit of a hoarder. Which is why I am so thankful that because of the ongoing, relentless work of Christ in my life I won’t remain in this miserly state. I can be free of self-pity and discontentment. And guilt.
God’s goodness, His abundance is all around us. May we live like we know it and give stuff away.
