The Ladies and No One Left Behind
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.”
Almost eight years ago, for my fortieth birthday, my friend Nicole gave me tickets to a Mumford and Sons concert. As an early fan of the group, I was super excited and overwhelmed by such a generous gift. It made it even more fun that, soon after, our friends, Grace and Maine, decided to join us.
It was an outdoor concert in the spring which is very risky on the west coast but we were delighted to see the blue sky forecast and met up at Maine’s to have a lovely dinner before the event. While we enjoyed the concert, we were keenly aware that we were not part of the majority demographic. I always know I am the old one in the crowd when the band plays a cover from way back and I’m the only one who starts cheering. Well, when Marcus Mumford started singing a Bob Dylan tune the ladies and I yelled and whistled our appreciation only to receive some sidelong glances of confusion from the teen and twenty-something crowd around us. “Who let the mom’s in here?” their faces said.
But when the concert was over the game changed. We never did find out what happened but suddenly the entire park where the concert was held became a cellular dead zone. No calls, no texts, and twenty-five thousand people needing to get out through 2 different gates and find their way out of a Vancouver suburb which was unfamiliar territory for most of the young concert-goers. It took about five minutes for mild panic to settle into the crowd.
At first, there were questions from the young people nearby, who previously had ignored us. “Excuse me, do you have service?” “Do you know the direction to the transit station?” But as the crowd started to rush and surge the voices were starting to sound frantic. “Dave! Dave, where are you?” She looked right at me and yelled, “Have you seen Dave?” I was sorely tempted to say, “maybe” but instead just shook my head.
We thought we would be able to stick together and calmly make our way to the exit but people were soon starting to push and yell and we were increasingly aware that we could get separated. And, honestly, I had no idea where I was since my friend Maine had driven and this was her neighborhood. But just when I was starting to get nervous I heard my friend, Grace, in her firm mom voice call, “Ladies! Grab on!”
Grace had pulled off her pale grey infinity scarf and was throwing it out for each of us to grab. I will never forget this moment. The fear vanished and the four of us were laughing and moving toward the exit slowly and somewhat like an amoeba, shifting and stretching. Sometimes we would have to lift the scarf over our heads to let people through or wait a bit so that Grace’s stretchy scarf wouldn’t rip. I wonder if she was ever able to use that scarf again. Grace?
Honestly, the funniest part was the reaction of the crowd around us. They loved it. It seemed to have a calming effect. We saw groups of young women pointing and smiling. A few even waved, as if they had just run into their mom’s friends. One woman whose boyfriend was bravely trying to get her safely out said, “Hey! I want to go with those ladies! They look safe.” I think it was at this point that one of us, I can’t remember who exclaimed, “That’s right! We’re moms. No one gets left behind.” People laughed.
As far as I know, everyone made it out alive and it was only a few minutes outside the park that we left the dead zone, and friends were reunited. Maine brought us back to her house and all was well. Again, except for Grace’s scarf. Could that have possibly shrunk back?
As far as concerts go, I have seen more memorable performances but the image of that scarf getting tossed out to us is etched into my mind forever. It is such a deep and special picture of how many times people have thrown out a lifeline to me when I was drowning or getting lost in a frantic crowd. And, also, a reminder of the times when I didn’t grab on or, worse, didn’t think to do the same for another.
Besides the ladies at this concert, there have been many others with who I have laughed and cried and prayed and eaten. There haven’t always been grand gestures. Sometimes a funny text or walk while we wait for our kids. Other times they have cared for my kids or brought comforting meals. Bearing one another’s burdens doesn’t have to be a huge thing but it does mean that as we pilgrim through this crazy life, no one gets left behind.
I have spent time in the Old Testament this past year and a beautiful theme, an aspect of God’s character, that has risen to the surface is His desire for us to care for each other. He has beautiful words for how we are to deal with the poor as well as the foreigner among us. When Moses was completely overwhelmed with caring for and leading the people of Israel he poured his heart out in frustration and God told him to select elders and said to Moses, “Then I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the Spirit who is upon you, and will put Him upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you will not bear it all alone.” Numbers 11:17
“You will not bear it alone.” We are not designed to live alone and bear every burden by ourselves. We are intended to weave ourselves in and out of the lives of others. In my pride, there have been times I have not taken the “scarf” someone has tossed to me. And in my selfishness, I have not always taken the time to bear another’s burden or share their grief. So let us continue to make this our goal and remind one another to make sure everyone is holding on.
